Thursday, January 14, 2010

Ashley Lamps Fire Within [I'll Poat More In The Extra Detailes.]?

Fire Within [I'll poat more in the extra detailes.]? - ashley lamps

This is the beginning of my story.

It was nearly midnight when gently Ashley Knox sat at the window of his bedroom. He paused and thought carefully about this situation. Towared The old house on it and cast a huge shadow. He made a quick decision and jumped over the fence around the yard. She landed in sidwalk and ran into the street. The only sounds from the repeated blows of his shose taken as gravle. A cold wind blew, shaking and pulling his coat tightly about him. She sat down at full speed on the street, holding his backpack warmer. The houses seemed to her that they shed light note, the lights ran the road. Another wind the hair around her face violently. It slows down your breathing, on the road and rest in the grass. I felt strange, but exciting flight. He was glad of his adoptive mother, seems to care.

1 comments:

Angeliss said...

Very nice. There are certain things that can be resolved, as the wind blows, that a second, you need a synonym for wind and some descriptions of connection could be made. But very good. I am confident in what happens next interested.
My score? Almost perfect in every ... AKA-needs a little polishing, but not enough to undermine the remarkable work that have made you. Keep it up, if the rest of the story / book / novel is as good as what you have here, I'd buy a copy. Seriously.

Post a Comment